Fly on the Wall: The Buzz on Gordy

Photo by Parker Bennett.

Photo by Parker Bennett.

Gordy Dining Hall–The place where the smell of poor college kids and desperation slaps you in the face as soon as you walk through the doors.  Yes, all the Reinhardt students know it very well, for it’s the place they resort to when their stomachs are growling and they are either too broke to go into Canton to eat or are too lazy to actually get in their cars and go somewhere else. Although Gordy can be a savior to those who have faced one or both of these problems, there are a few rules that students need to follow in order to survive in the jungle of the dining hall. Have no fear, students, I am here to help.

If you thought that college lunch rooms would be different than high school… You were wrong. It’s not different. It’s the same. As once sang by Bowling For Soup, “High School Never Ends.” Inspired by watching Mean Girls over the weekend, I decided to put together a diagram of how Gordy works. I split it up into two parts: where to sit and what to eat. If you are a freshman, this article will keep you from getting your hands stepped on in your attempts to climb up the social ladder. As for the upperclassmen, you will probably just get a kick out of how accurate these diagrams are.

GordyDiningHallfinished

Seating in the dining hall is a lot more complex than what is often seen by the naked eye. There is a complicated system that you are obligated to live by. There are “free zones” that are safe to sit at, open to anyone in the student body. One student that most people know, Josh Robinson, typically sits in the safe zones. If you don’t know who Josh is, you probably should. He’s hard to miss.

Other tables are territorially owned by some of the big cliques of Reinhardt. As seen in the first diagram, the red boxes symbolize the safe places to sit without facing the irritated glares of the students you don’t belong with. Otherwise, the tables are labeled with the typical cliques that sit there. Most of the long tables sit most of the athletes and upperclassman “populars”. The round tables are for more of the smaller groups, like the freshman partiers or the cheerleaders.

If you sit at the wrong table, BEWARE. Prepare for whispers and evil glares from the other people at the table. You will be made fun of. You will feel awkward. You will be out-casted.

As far as food goes, most of the food, aside from the main entrees, is safe. The pizza is good as long as it has just come out of the oven and doesn’t have any leftover chicken or veggies from the day before. Stick to pepperoni and cheese. Salads are always healthy and all. The side entrees are usually okay if they have pasta or nachos. Sandwiches are always a safe second. Stay away from the main entrees unless it is Fried Chicken Wednesday or pasta day. The tofu that they put in everything may look safe, but it’s still tofu and it’s still gross.

GordyDiningHallfinishedfood

One last thing to remember is to never forget your card. The Card Nazi will hunt you down tell you that you aren’t allowed to eat there. Do not pass GO. Do not collect 200 dollars. If you follow this guide, you are sure to have the best experience you could possibly have in a dining hall with mediocre food and high school cliques… You’re welcome.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 107 other followers

%d bloggers like this: